Words in Hand

... Motorcycle: it was because there was a man, a rather posh man with a bowler and a walking stick, and he'd been with his girlfriend. He'd forgotten his last bus. It was terrible, it was late, it was Sunday and he couldn't stay overnight because he had to go home for work the next morning. So he gave her a quick kiss and went out the door and decided to go down to the motorway... walked down to the motorway and arrived there. He stood there thumbing and most of the drivers ignored him because he looked rich and said, 'I'm not giving you a lift. Get stuffed! So cars kept passing and he kept thumbing and he got colder and colder.

And one hour went past and two hours went past, but eventually a Hell's Angel with a peak on his helmet, a spike on his helmet, chains across his body, big cowhorn handlebars, stubble on his chin, saliva dribbling down his face, cigarette hanging out the corner of his mouth, screeched to a halt. The man sort of hesitated and he said, the Hell's Angel said 'Do you want to lift?' and 'Get on the back!' and he said 'No, no!' Anyway he accepted and got on the back and the bike did a wheelie off and roared down the road, and it was going faster and faster, he wanted to show the speed. And the spike on the helmet flew back in the wind, he was going faster and faster.

The man tapped him on... tapped the Hells Angel on the shoulder and said 'I'm cold, I'm cold!' because it was the wind was going straight through the 'V' in his jacket. So the Hell's Angel got off and got round and said 'Take your jacket off!' he said 'No it'll make me colder!' 'Shut up and get your jacket off!' Anyway, he was terrified of them so he took his jacket off and the Hell's Angel turned the jacket around, so that the back, the collar, was at the front and did the buttons up at the back. Oh, the Hell's Angel is helping me, how nice.

So anyway, they got back on the bike and they zoomed off again and the peak, the spike on the helmet zoomed back in the wind. And they came towards a hump and they hit the hump and the Hell's Angel had a great feeling and the bike came back to the ground and swerved all over the place. But suddenly the bike felt very light. What was it? He looked round. Ah, there was nobody behind him and then he thought 'Ah, back at the hump, when we hit the ground again the man fell off the back.'

So he turned around and went back again and he saw there were police and ambulances, and people crowded around something. So he zoomed back, stopped and said 'No! No!' What was the ambulance man trying to do? He was trying to turn the man's head round!