Words in Hand

I'll never forget my holiday, I went to Italy, for the skiing, with the British Deaf Ski Club. I was interested in going, I was keen to go and I arranged my passport and checked everything was okay, packed and everything was perfect.

And I'd brought my briefcase with me, because I was secretary at that time and I'd like to have something to say about the holiday. So I packed everything, checked it and checked my passport, because that was so important, put it in the briefcase, got my rucksack on and traveled down to London.

I think it was Victoria Station to, not Glasgow, to London Airport - to Gatwick, that's where we were intending to go and we had to go in the subway. So we went down and the deaf got into the train and I put my briefcase, I'd given it to someone to look after, they were going to look after and I chatted on and had a great time. And 'We're going to Italy, great!' and 'There's, there's the place we're going, on the leg of the map...' so we traveled and arrived, rushed out of the underground train, the doors closed and away the train went. And I had my rucksack, got out of the underground, paid, gave the ticket. 'Where's my briefcase!? Where's my briefcase! And the girl I'd given it to said 'Oh I'm sorry, I've forgotten it, it's sitting in the train!' What? What? my briefcase is on the train!' Oh, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, the notes I would make, I'd have to broadcast them after the holiday. Ahh! There was a flash in my mind, my passport! There was a red beacon flashing in my mind, my passport! Oh no! No it can't be true! Colin was bouncing along and I tapped him on the shoulder and I said 'My briefcase and my passport are on the train!' "No, not really! Surely not, you fool!' and I had to accept it. I felt I was stupid, what am I going to do? Better go and see the man who worked and was looking after the station and I told him about my briefcase, that it'd gone on the train ...said that's 'Sorry that's the last train.' Oh no! So I had to get the last train to Gatwick, we had to get another train, we had to get that. So quickly went into the Transportation Police. I explained what had happened, I'd lost my briefcase and my passport was inside it. Said 'I'm sorry I can't help you, you'll have to go and see at the airport. They have the special police there that they'll try and help you, how to get into Italy.' So I said 'Okay.'

I was really worried, my heart was panicking and I would say 'There's no problem, I'll get there somehow.' I'd always get there somehow but, they said 'You don't know, passports are different.' So I said 'Well...'

Anyway we arrived at Gatwick, quickly got out of the train and went into the office and explained about the passport and he was sorry for me and they rang the Italian Embassy in London, had a discussion, 'How will he get into Italy? How?' So they said 'It's alright just give them a piece of paper, a form, a document approved by the British Embassy and so on, just note it down, put it down,' and said 'Best of luck!' and I said 'Great, thanks very much.'

So that happened, I went through the barrier, they asked for my passport, showed him the piece of paper and the man said 'Oh, through you go.' So we all piled through, got into the plane, sat down.

We're sitting, looking out the window and we flew off to Italy. We were flying, but there I was still worried, my heart and my stomach were churning a bit, because my problem would be when I arrived. Anyway I was dreaming that my passport, I was fantasizing that it was outside waving at me, trying to trick me. 'Come on, catch me, catch me!' Oh damn you! So I ordered some hard stuff and I got a drink and I drank it and I drank it and I drank it, and I got some Dutch Courage inside of me.

So the plane landed and was a little bit rough, but it was a great landing and a great feeling to land. Anyway, we got out and I got to the end of the queue and I could see the Customs Man looking at the passports. He had a holster and a gun, and anyway I kept getting to the back of the queue and I was at the end, and I showed him the piece of paper. The man looked at it, picked up the phone talked on the phone. I stood there and saying 'It's okay' to the deaf and the deaf was saying 'Oh, it's terrible!' and I said 'Don't worry, don't worry.' And he spoke and spoke and then two men came towards me, picked me up by the arms and took me off, my rucksack went down on the conveyor belt. And I was explaining and explaining... Anyway, they pushed me into an office and they started gesticulating and gesticulating - Italian signing 'Oh god!' and I couldn't bear it. So a man came and he could speak English and I explained to him about my passport and he said 'That form is false, I don't agree with that, you can't go in you'll have to go home!' I said 'Oh no!' and then I said 'No I'm the organizer of these 32 deaf people, if I go home they'll all have to come home with me!' 'Oh, I understand.' So he looked at it and he said 'Alright, in your go.' Oh I was so relieved, I felt great so... 'But remember, when you come back I'll have authority waiting for you to let you fly back home again so be careful.' So I said 'Okay thanks very much.' So I said 'Great!' The deaf said 'Really? You're through?' and they applauded and I got through. And anyway and I forgot all about that, had a great time, one week's holiday traveling around.

And I'll never forget that, because that was my first experience of a holiday, all abroad and traveling around. I've forgotten about my passport, left it to one side and the one week was over and now it was time to go back to the airport, to go home to London.

Anyway, some deaf were staying for two weeks and I was disappointed. I could sense the Alpine trees saying 'farewell' to us, to some of us and there was a lump in my throat because I wanted to stay longer. Anyway, put my rucksack in the bus.

And we were traveling down and signing away and we were talking about the disabled people that were there, they were in wheelchairs and it was amazing because we were mixing with some of them, the disabled people, they were called The Uphill Ski Club and that was their title. Anyway, you see we'd be skiing and we travel down the slopes and they'd have special skis and special sticks, and they could ski down the slopes and we'd talk, and then we go down the slopes, and then they get off into the wheelchair and away they'd go. And I'd look and I felt so sorry, and my heart was sore for them because when they're on the snow slope they were the same as us, but on the road they were disabled. I felt so sympathetic.

Anyway, we were talking about that and the travel agent, the representative, announced 'When you get to the airport will you get your tickets ready please.' So I said 'Okay' and I looked through the rucksack and looked through my pockets and I couldn't find my flight ticket. The deaf said 'What? Again! and I said 'It's okay, It's okay it must be in my rucksack.' because it was in the boot of the bus, we'd put them all in the boot of the bus. so it'll be in the back. I said 'I hope it's in my rucksack.' The deaf said 'What happens if it's not there and you haven't got a flight ticket?' So I said 'I don't know.'

Anyway, we arrived, got off, quickly got my rucksack out, opened it out. It was true, there was no flight ticket. Oh no! It was terrible, what am I going to do? I was lost, but I decided to be firm. And the deaf we're going 'It's terrible, it's awful!' and they were... But I was laughing at myself, I was just laughing, because I couldn't believe it! Anyway the deaf went through, into the airport and left me alone.

When I had arrived there I felt so lonely, so I took my rucksack off, put it down, attracted the attention of a man, he came over, he could speak English himself, so I wrote down 'I've lost my flight ticket.' 'Oh no!' he said, 'You've lost your flight ticket? Let me see your passport.' 'Oh, no erm, I've lost my passport as well.' 'What! Oh no, no I can't do anything for you, I'm sorry.' And he talked to another man, said 'What? him? Oh him? Oh well.' And the deaf were over the other way and they were going 'Okay, okay?' and I said 'No, it's no good.' And a representative came over and I said I'd lost my ticket, he said 'Oh no. What are we gonna do? I'll try and help.' And he explained and explained, trying to make the police, the polizia, to let me into the plane.

So they objected and I thought I'd be taken off. 'Oh please don't!' You know anyway, somehow the Italian police said it's okay, they found a rule that said you can fly home when they've phoned to the British representative, the holiday representative, and he says yes it's true, he has got a flight ticket for traveling. So they phoned and they checked and it was okay and they gave me a duplicate ticket, duplicate flight ticket. I picked it up and I was so relieved and I walked through, into the queue.

Standing there I was worrying about the passport barrier and I'd left my rucksack behind. Oh, so I screamed at myself and I rushed back, but my rucksack was still there and I apologised to it because it was mad with me. And I picked it up and I felt so stupid again because my mind was totally disorientated. And I walked back, got into the queue and the passport, and up we went and people went through and then it was my turn. Showed him the duplicate, and five men rushed towards me, five policemen rush towards me! And I explained about the last time, when they'd let me in, and that they said when I came back they would let me go out by some special evidence, or document, there'll be something there. But it wasn't there and they didn't know what I was talking about, so the representative wouldn't come towards me.

And I was reeling, my stomach was really churning, the Italian police seemed bored, you know there was something interesting, there was something exciting here. Oh great! You know. Oh here he is, no passport? right, great! What should we do? Plan. What, duff him up or something like that! I could see by their faces, daggers were peering towards me, coming at me and I was staggering back and they were playing with holsters. Oh, it was... my stomach was churning still. And the deaf were going 'Oh, not again!' And I was going... The Rep said 'Don't worry I'll help you' and he started speaking. And it took about 15 - 20 minutes and they gave up and they said 'Okay' and they let me through. And I said 'What? I'm through, I'm really through?' The Rep said 'It's okay'. 'I'm free, I can go through?' And I went through and I raised my hand and cheered and now I can fly home, I said, oh what, really? I've come here to Italy without a passport and going home without a passport, and going home without a flight ticket and a passport? You've succeeded! I'm a stowaway boy! Oh, so I ordered a bottle and I was pouring and drinking... and on the flight home. The deaf was saying 'Oh great, well done!' You know, 'Please write it down, the lost passport, the story.' And I arrived in Britain, I told the deaf all about it and broadcast it, I'll never forget it!